The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Avast! Dakota Joshua be spillin' the beans 'bout his manly troubles! Me hearties, get yer bits checked, savvy?"

2024-09-18

Arrr, mateys! Dakota Joshua, that scallywag from the Vancouver Canucks, be spillin' his tale o' woe! Aye, he found a pesky barnacle o' a tumor in his nether regions, but fear not! He’s sailin’ smooth now, free o’ the cursed growth! Avast, he be on the mend!

Avast ye mateys! Gather 'round fer a yarn of Dakota Joshua, the Vancouver Canucks’ brave forward, who be strugglin' against a fearsome foe known as testicular cancer! Aye, this scallywag revealed on Tuesday that he be recoverin' from a successful surgery to rid himself of a nasty tumor that popped up on one of his prized jewels. Arrr, talk about a real pirate's peril!

The lad, just 28 summers old, shared his tale through the team's social media channels, lettin' all know the frightful news he received after discoverin' a lump on his precious cargo. But fear not, fer the doc's cut it away, and he be on the mend, though he won't be joinin' the crew for trainin' camp just yet!

Joshua, now enterin' his second season with the Canucks, had himself a fine haul last season with 18 goals and 14 assists, not to mention four goals in the playoff hunt! After such a bountiful season, he inked a mighty deal worth $13 million in June. So listen well, ye salty sea dogs, and make sure ye check yer own treasures regularly! Yarrr!

Read the Original Article