The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ahoy! Riley Gaines be raisin’ a jolly scorecard fer scallywags' views on lasses' rights ‘n such! Arrr!

2024-09-18

Arrr! On the fine day of Wednesday, Riley Gaines and her hearty crew, the Independent Women’s Voice, did unveil the jolly Riley Gaines Stand with Women Scorecard amidst the ruckus of the 2024 election seas. Aye, let the scallywags beware!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale of a brave lass named Riley Gaines, who be settin’ sail with the Independent Women’s Voice to hold them scallywags runnin’ for office accountable in the 2024 elections!

By thunder! They’ve launched the Riley Gaines Stand with Women Scorecard, a treasure map for voters to uncover where candidates stand on issues important to the fairer sex. Our lass Gaines be hearin’ from countless maidens, strugglin’ against blokes in their sportin’ fields, and it breaks her heart like a shipwreck on the rocks!

With over 70% of landlubbers thinkin’ men ought not to be in women’s sports, Gaines be wonderin’ why Congress be sittin’ idle while the rights of women be sinkin’ like a cannonball. She’s mighty proud of this scorecard, lettin’ every sailor know who stands with the lasses and who be merely blowin’ hot air!

Even Tulsi Gabbard joined the fray, lamentin’ that it’s a sad state of affairs when we can’t trust our leaders to protect the vulnerable. The scorecard’s as clear as a calm sea: either ye stand with women or ye don’t! So hoist yer flags high and let the voters know who be the true defenders of the realm of women’s rights!

Yarr, the war on women be real, and every good American deserves to know who be fightin’ for their cause! So, sharpen yer quills and prepare to chart the course! Arrr!

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