The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, those scallywag judges tossed Simone's score overboard, lettin' China keep the treasure! A right swindle, I say!

2024-09-18

Arrr, ye scallywags! The judges o’ the gymnastics treasure hunt at the Paris games be so busy countin’ their doubloons, they lost sight o’ Simone Biles' dazzling routine! Aye, they forgot to give it a second look—now that be the real piracy on the mat! Har har har!

Ahoy, me hearties! A ruckus be brewin' over yon gymnastics affair at the Paris Games. It be revealed that the judges, those scallywags, neglected to heed the cries of the U.S. coaches seekin' a review of the illustrious Simone Biles' routine! If they had but listened, the golden treasure might've been in Biles' grasp, instead of merely settlin' fer silver, a mere 0.333 points shy of Brazil's Andrade, who be sportin' a comeback tale fit fer the sea, what with her three ACL tears!

Now, the footage, which be bouncin' 'round the courts like a wayward cannonball, shows Biles askin' her coach about the appeal as if she be awaitin' word from Davy Jones himself. But alas, the answer be dismal! “They didn't send it!” be the fateful words. Biles lost precious points for wanderin' outside the mat, and if the judges had granted her that extra difficulty credit, she could've snatched gold, and the U.S. would’ve claimed 41 shiny medals, alone at the top of the heap!

Yet, worry not, for Biles be sayin' she be happy with the outcome, care more fer her matey Chiles in her quest fer justice! Aye, it be a tangled web of gymnastics, medals, and a sprinkle of pirate mischief on the grand stage of the Olympics!

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