The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Kentucky port be in a tizzy! Sheriff’s in the dock for sendin’ a judge to Davy Jones’ locker!

2024-09-20

Arrr, two scallywags were spottin' themselves preparin' for a hearty grub on the fateful day o' the shootin'. But lo and behold! Hours hence, Judge Kevin Mullins found himself in Davy Jones' locker, riddled with more holes than a cheese wheel! What a jolly mess!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of treachery and timbers! On a fateful day, two blokes be preparin’ to feast on grub fit for a king—or perhaps just a hungry deckhand! Aye, they had their eye on a grand lunch, no doubt dreamin’ of plunderin’ a fine tavern's bounty.

But lo! Fate be a fickle wench, for as the sun climbed high, a storm brewed in the shadows. Hours later, the good Judge Kevin Mullins, a man known for keepin’ the peace, found himself in a pickle worse than a sailor’s last meal! The poor soul was discovered, lifeless and riddled with holes as if he had tangled with a sea serpent’s wrath!

What cruel twist of fate be this? One moment, he be ponderin’ over a hearty feast, and the next, he be sleepin’ with the fishes! Aye, ’tis a sorry tale of a judge who met his end not at the hands of a treacherous court, but from a volley of lead that would make even the fiercest of buccaneers shiver in their boots! So raise a tankard, me hearties, and toast to the folly of life, where lunch can turn to lead faster than a cannonball flies!

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