The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! ‘Tis true, matey! Springfield be a bloodier port under Trump than Biden-Harris, arrr!

2024-09-20

Avast ye! Sen. JD Vance be catchin’ flack fer spoutin’ tall tales 'bout Haitian scallywags snatchin' up pets in Springfield! Now, he’s tossin' blame at Vice President Kamala Harris, sayin' her crew be causin' all sorts o' mischief. Arrr, blame it on the winds o’ change, I say!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of a landlubber named Sen. JD Vance, who be in hot water fer spoutin’ tall tales ‘bout Haitian scallywags in Springfield, Ohio. He claims they be stealin’ pets and munchin’ on ‘em like they be pirate’s grub! Aye, the good folk be not havin' it, and they be settin’ sail with their criticism, lettin’ him know his words be more fishy than a sea hag’s cackle!

Now, our fine senator be tryin’ to shift the blame, pointin’ his finger at Vice President Kamala Harris, claiming she be the reason for this influx of Haitian souls causing a ruckus in the city. He be sayin’ she be at the helm of this mess, lettin’ too many of ‘em aboard during her time in office. But while he be casting nets for blame, some of the issues he speaks of, like the strain on the local health care system, be as clear as the North Star on a moonlit night.

So there ye have it, me hearties! A senator caught in a storm of his own makin’, trying to navigate the choppy waters of politics while dodgin’ the cannonballs of criticism. It be a right jolly spectacle, indeed!

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