Arrr! Russia be launchin' a booty call plan to boost landlubber numbers ‘fore they all vanish into Davy Jones’ locker!
2024-09-21
Arrr, me hearties! The Russian lords be rallyin’ the wenches to make more wee scallywags, even in the drudgery of work! With the population sinkin’ like a leaky ship, ol’ Putin be forked and flustered, tryin’ to stir up a ruckus in the bedchamber! Avast, mateys!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round for a tale from the frosty shores of Russia, where the Kremlin's chief healer be hollerin' for the fair maidens to partake in a wild "sex-at-work" scheme! Aye, this be a ploy to bolster the birthrate and counter a population crisis that be plaguing the land. Despite gold coins and tax breaks flyin' about like cannonballs, it seems the stork be flyin' low, with the lowest birth rate in a quarter-century, savvy?At a grand gathering known as the Eurasian Women’s Forum, our fearless leader, Captain Putin, urged the lasses to balance their work and their brood, claimin' that they possess a secret men can’t fathom! When asked how the busy mothers be makin’ time for squalls of young'uns, the health minister, Dr. Shestopalov, declared that workin' 12-14 hours be naught but a flimsy excuse! “Procreate during breaks!” he bellowed, as if it be as easy as catchin' fish!
With lawmakers cheerin’ on, they urged the fair lasses to start havin’ babies at the ripe age of 18 and even suggested employers keep an eye on their female crew’s birthing stats! With a dwindlin' population, Russia be in dire need of more wee pirates to join the ranks. So, hoist the sails and let the baby makin’ commence, for life be flyin’ by too quickly, savvy?