The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The lawmen stormed the quarters of Commish Donlon, just after Caban jumped ship! What a jolly mess!

2024-09-22

Arrr, matey! On Friday, the federal scallywags stormed the abode of Commissioner Donlon, just after his mate Caban was sent to Davy Jones' locker! Donlon be claimin’ they took ol’ trinkets from two decades past, nothin’ to do with his policing shenanigans. A fine mess indeed!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the high seas of New York City law enforcement! 'Twas a dark and stormy day when them federal scallywags decided to storm the humble abode of the NYPD's Interim Commissioner, a chap by the name of Thomas Donlon. Just a week after his matey, Edward Caban, walked the plank post-FBI raid, it seems the tides be turnin’ for old Donlon!

With a swashbucklin' spirit, Donlon himself confessed to the raid, proclaimin' in a statement that them authorities be makin’ off with treasures from twenty years past, treasures that had naught to do with his current duties in the land of law and order. “Aye, they took me old trinkets, but fret ye not, me crew! These baubles are as unrelated to me work as a parrot be to a cat!” he quipped, tryin' to keep the spirits high amidst the chaos.

So, savvy me hearties? The NYPD be in a right pickle, with raiders hittin’ their ranks like cannonballs in a ship battle! But fear not, for Donlon's claim be as slippery as a fish, and the tides of justice shall soon reveal the truth! Arrr!

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