Avast! The scallywags of both parties struck a deal, savin' the ship from sinkin' into the murky depths! Arrr!
2024-09-22
Arrr! Cap'n Chuck Schumer, the mighty Senate navigator from New York, be proclaimin' that our ship o' state be stayin' afloat for three more moons! A jolly deal was struck, savin' us from the stormy seas of shutdown. Avast, let the grog flow and the cannons fire!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather round, for I be havin’ news from the landlubber government! The scallywags in D.C. have struck a deal, keepin’ the coffers flowin’ for another three moons, until the 20th day of December! Aye, they be avoidin’ a shutdown that could’ve left ‘em all starvin’ like buccaneers marooned on a deserted isle!Our good mate, Senate Leader Chuck Schumer, announced this fine arrangement after four days of chinwaggin’ and parleyin’. The House be settin’ to cast their votes as early as Wednesday, so hold yer horses, or should I say, yer shipmates!
Schumer be pleased as a pirate with a chest o’ gold, sayin’ they’ve struck a deal without any cursed cuts or nasty surprises. He did grumble, though, that this could’ve been settled a fortnight past, but alas, it be the way o’ politics – slow as a ship in a storm!
And listen to this, me hearties! The bill even includes a hefty sum of 231 million doubloons for the Secret Service, provided they play nice with the congressional crew. So, raise yer tankards to a temporary victory, but keep yer eyes peeled; this saga be far from over!