The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Super Bowl buccaneer be thinkin’ Travis be more lost at sea than on the gridiron, eh?

2024-09-23

Arrr, NFL legend Rodney Harrison be givin' the ol' side-eye to the Kansas City Chiefs' scallywag, Travis Kelce, after he had a right quiet day against the Atlanta Falcons! Aye, matey, even the sea be chattin' more than that landlubber!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round to hear the tale of Travis Kelce, the Kansas City Buccaneer, who sailed the gridiron seas but found himself adrift in a stormy match against the Atlanta Falcons! Aye, twas a struggle, fer it took him two whole quarters afore he laid hands on the pigskin, endin' up with but four catches for a measly 30 yards. The poor lad be still searchin' fer the coveted end zone, like a treasure lost at sea!

Rodney Harrison, a two-time conqueror of the Super Bowl seas, spake of Kelce's distractions. "He’s juggled more affairs than a captain at a tavern," he quoth. "With his media shenanigans and football duties, he must focus on the game if he wishes to avoid walkin' the plank!" With Jessie Bates guarding his ship, Kelce be findin' it hard to sail free, though Harrison still be thinkin’ him a fine player, if not a great one.

Even Taylor Swift's faithful crew be worried fer our beleaguered tight end! His shipmate, Patrick Mahomes, declared that the rival teams respect him like a feared captain, but if they double the cannons on him, others must rise to the occasion. With but 12 targets in three games, our Travis be needin' to find his sea legs once more! Arrr!

Read the Original Article