Arrr, Rex be claimin' he’d mend the Cowboys’ leaky ship, but they be too stingy to toss him a doubloon!
2024-09-24
Arrr, matey! The Dallas Cowboys’ defense be sinkin’ faster than a leaky ship! Rex Ryan be sayin’ he could’ve righted the crew if they’d only coughed up some doubloons! Avast, what a scallywag of a squad they be!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of the beleaguered Dallas Cowboys, who be ranked as the scurviest 30th in points allowed and the 28th in yards over the past three weeks! Aye, they be sufferin’ like a landlubber caught in a storm after the departure of their captain of defense, Dan Quinn. In his stead, they’ve hoisted Mike Zimmer aboard, but it seems the winds of fortune have turned against ‘em!Now, rumor has it that they once sought the wisdom of one Rex Ryan, a mighty captain of defenses in days of yore. This scallywag confirmed he could have righted the ship in a New York minute, but alas, the treasure chest was empty, and he remains perched on his ESPN throne, tossing barbs at the new commander, Zimmer! “Ye brought in a matey who be 29th last year,” he quipped, “this can go really bad for Dallas!”
With a record of 1-2, the Cowboys be floundering like a fish outta water, allowing a staggering 44 and 28 points in recent battles. A quick trip to face the New York Giants lies ahead, but beware, for their defense be as leaky as a ship with a hole in its hull! So, hoist the sails and pray for fair winds, for the Cowboys be needin’ all the luck they can muster! Arrr!