Arrr! GOP be hollerin’ fer clarity on if the Walz crew be tossin’ landlubbers off Minnesota’s voter treasure map!
2024-09-24
Avast, ye scallywags! The GOP crew and RNC buccaneers be queryin’ the fine folks of Minnesota about scrubbin’ the voter rolls, wonderin’ if they be tossin’ overboard any landlubber noncitizens who snuck aboard! Arrr, keep yer shipshape, me hearties!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale from the land of Minnesota, where the scallywags of the House Republicans be raisin' the sails of suspicion! It seems that a fair number o' noncitizens managed to sneak onto the voter rolls through the automatic registration process. Aye, ye heard me right! These landlubbers be castin' ballots without proper papers!Reps. Tom Emmer and his crew have hoisted the Jolly Roger, demandin' answers from the goodly Gov. Tim Walz’s mates, Steve Simon and Bob Jacobson. In a letter penned with the fervor of a cannon blast, they be claimin' to have shared info on how to scrub the rolls of these impostors over a month ago, yet they received naught but silence—like a ship lost at sea!
The letter insists on more than just a few crumbs of information; they want to know how many of these scoundrels voted, who got ballots, and if any past elections could've changed if these rascals hadn't cast their lot. Aye, transparency be the treasure they seek! And as for Simon and Jacobson, they be workin' hard to ensure only the rightful sailors be allowed to navigate the waters of democracy. But will they be able to right their ship in time for the next election? Only time will tell, me mateys!