The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Suicide scallywags be prattlin' 'bout a cursed Sarco contraption puttin' a landlubber to rest in Switz! Har har!

2024-09-24

Arrr, matey! The Swiss lawmen be snoopin' 'round a devilish contraption, a cursed suicide capsule, said to have sent several souls to Davy Jones' locker, includin’ a 64-year-old lass from the good ol' colonies! Avast, what a jolly mess on their hands!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the high seas of Switzerland, where a few scallywags be caught in a most peculiar plot involving a contraption known as a "suicide capsule." Aye, it be true! The good folks of Schaffhausen have snatched up several knaves who were aiding others in their final voyage from the land of the living.

This here contraption, dubbed the Sarco pod, be a fancy death ship designed by the clever landlubbers at Exit International. Rumor has it, this here pod be a cozy little coffin that fills with nitrogen gas, sending its passengers off to Davy Jones’ locker in a mere ten minutes, with no doctor in sight! Aye, it be the first known use of this devilish device, and it has stirred the pot of Swiss justice like a barrel o’ rum!

The swabs behind this invention claim they be providing a “quick, peaceful and reliable death.” But hold yer horses! Swiss law demands the souls takin’ the plunge must be of sound mind and act on their own, lest they be caught in the noose of guilt for aiding a matey without pure intentions.

So, as the tale unfolds, ye can bet the Swiss be pondering how to handle this murky matter of life and death, while Dr. Nitschke, the mastermind behind this invention, be puffin’ his chest with pride. Arrr, what a world we live in!

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