Aye, UNLV's swashbucklin' captain of the field be sailin' away, claimin' promises went as sour as scallywag rum!
2024-09-25
Arrr, mateys! On the eve of Tuesday, our gallant captain Matthew Sluka be hoistin' the sails and leavin' the ship o' UNLV, claimin' a squabble o' gold doubloons over that pesky NIL treasure! Aye, an undefeated crew now be down a swashbuckler! Avast, what a ruckus!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of a swashbucklin’ lad by the name of Matthew Sluka, the fine quarterback of the UNLV Rebels, who be leadin' his crew to three victories, a feat not seen since the days of yore in 1984! With six touchdown passes and a mighty 318 yards to his name, he be throwin’ the ball like a cannonball, flingin’ it 15.1 yards per completion, savvy?But lo! Just as the winds of fortune be blowin' in his favor, Sluka has decided to set sail from the ship of Rebels! He be leavin’ before a clash with them Bulldogs from Fresno State, claimin' he be usin' a redshirt year, a fancy term for takin' a break. His heart be heavy, as he declared that the promises made to him were as empty as a pirate’s rum barrel after a long night of carousin’!
Now, the news be spreadin’ like wildfire on the high seas, leavin’ fans and foes alike dumbfounded. Sluka had just led his crew to a glorious victory over them Jayhawks, rushin’ for 113 yards like a true buccaneer on the hunt! With his departure, the Rebels be ponderin’ if Hajj-Malik Williams or Cameron Friel shall take the helm on Saturday. Ah, the tides of college football be ever-changin’!