The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, be Mark Robinson the scallywag to send Trump’s ship a-sinking in North Carolina’s stormy seas? Har har!

2024-09-25

Avast, mateys! Captain Trump sailed his flying beast to Asheboro’s lush hills come August's end, after a scallywag aimed cannon fire at him! His grand ship, Trump Force One, soared above cheerin’ crew. With a MAGA tricorn and a hearty fist pump, he crooned to the crowd, shoutin’ praise for the local swashbuckler!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of a bold captain named Donald Trump, who set sail to the fair shores of Asheboro, North Carolina, in the wanin' days of August. Aye, this be his first outdoor shindig since a scallywag tried to send him to Davy Jones' Locker. With a mighty roar, his grand ship, Trump Force One, soared through the skies, causin' the crowd to cheer like a band of merry cutthroats.

Wearing his prized MAGA hat, our captain strutted onstage like a proud rooster, his fist pumpin' high as the Jolly Roger in the breeze. As the sweet sounds of Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” filled the air, the swashbuckler wasted no time, settin' sail into his speech just forty-five seconds in, givin' a hearty shout-out to the state’s Republican nominee. Aye, ye could say he was as fired up as a cannon ready to blast! With the crowd eatin' from his palm, it be clear that ol' Donald knows how to rally his crew, even after a brush with the grim reaper himself. So hoist the sails and prepare for more raucous adventures on the high seas of politics! Arrr!

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