The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Coach Tortorella be callin’ Johnny's old man to practice! Says it be good fer the lad's troubled mind, har har!

2024-09-25

Arrr, less than a moon's turn after the cruel hand of fate snatched away his two lads, the ol' sea dog, father of young Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau, be settin' sail to the Flyers’ practice, summoned by Captain Tortorella hisself! Aye, what a jolly jest of fate, matey!

Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of Captain John Tortorella, head honcho of the Philadelphia Flyers, who be seekin’ to mend the heart of brave Guy Gaudreau. Alas, poor Guy lost his two fine lads, Johnny and Matthew, in a tragic mishap with a scallywag driver whilst they were ridin' their trusty bicycles. They were in the City of Brotherly Love for a family wedding, but fate had other plans, alas!

Tortorella, a coach known for his fiery demeanor, spoke to the crew about how he never crossed paths with the gallant brothers in his coaching voyages. But now, with Guy in a tempest of sorrow, he figured it best to extend an olive branch. At first, Guy was as hesitant as a landlubber at sea, but Tortorella assured him, “Come aboard when ye be ready.” The captain hopes to bring healing through camaraderie, drills, and perhaps a few jests about yellin’ at players to skate harder!

As Tortorella stated, “No one can imagine the weight on that man’s heart.” The crew of coaches be keen to know the Gaudreau family better, for they be sailing through troubled waters together. Here’s to the hope of brighter days ahead, filled with laughter and a bit of healing on the high seas of hockey! Arrr!

Read the Original Article