The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, a band o’ Haitian mates in Springfield be tossin’ criminal charges at Trump and Vance! Avast, me hearties!

2024-09-25

Arrr! The captain o’ the Haitian crew be hoistin’ the Jolly Roger against that scallywag Trump and his matey Vance! They be blamin’ ‘em for the ruckus in Springfield since the rogue spread tall tales ‘bout honest pirates—err, immigrants! After the local landlubber did naught, they be takin’ matters into their own hands!

Avast ye scallywags and landlubbers! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of a daring move by the Haitian Bridge Alliance, a band o’ hearty souls representin’ the fine folk from Haiti. Aye, on a fateful Tuesday, they be takin’ to the high seas of justice, callin’ forth the ghostly specters of former President Donald Trump and his matey JD Vance, demandin’ they answer fer the chaos unleashed upon Springfield, Ohio!

Ye see, it all began when Trump, in a mighty debate, set sail on a stormy sea of falsehoods, castin' away the good name of legal immigrants like a ship lost in a tempest. The people o’ Springfield, bless 'em, found themselves besieged by threats and mayhem ever since. But lo! The local prosecutor, a scallywag more idle than a barnacle on a ship’s hull, did naught to right the ship!

So, with a hearty heart and a belly full of courage, the Haitian Bridge Alliance called upon their legal buccaneer, Subodh Chandra, to launch the cannonballs of justice! They be takin’ matters into their own hands, lettin’ it be known that no one be above the law, not even a former captain of the ship o' state! Yarr, let the waves of justice crash upon the shores of Springfield!

Read the Original Article