The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! We be spyin' Jenna Ortega in Wednesday's next voyage, all thanks to this jolly TikTok jest!

2024-09-26

"Avast, me hearties! Can ye keep a weather eye on me fair matey? She be as precious as me last bottle o' rum, and I’d hate to see her eaten by a kraken or worse, a landlubber! Savvy?"

Arrr, matey! Gather 'round, fer I be tellin' ye a tale most strange! A fair maiden approached us, her eyes glimmerin' like doubloons in the moonlight, and she did speak with a voice sweeter than a siren's song. “Can ye scallywags keep an eye on me bestie?” she asked, a plea more beggin' than a landlubber at a tavern.

Well, we be a band of sea dogs, not a crew o' babysitters! But the spirit of adventure be strong in our hearts, so we nodded, thinkin' it be easier than plunderin' a merchant ship. “Aye, we’ll watch yer matey!” we boomed, puffin' out our chests like proud parrots. Little did we know, that bestie be a mischievous rascal, dartin' about like a fish tryin' to escape a net!

As we chased after the wee sprite, our boots got muddied, and our tempers flared hotter than a cannonball in the sun. “Why, how be it that a simple task turned into a wild treasure hunt?” we grumbled, each one of us wishin' fer a tankard o' rum instead. But in the end, we corralled the scallywag, wipin' our brows and laughin’ like hyenas, knowin' we’d spun a yarn worth tellin’ at the next port o' call!

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