The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Congress be settin' sail with a bill to keep the ship afloat ‘til election day, sendin’ it to Captain Biden!

2024-09-26

Arrr, mateys! Congress be settin’ sail on a treasure of funds to keep the government afloat, after them House scallywags tossed Trump’s fancy demand fer proof o’ citizenship like a rotten fish! The Senate be givin’ it the ol’ thumbs up, while some landlubbers be grumblin’. Avast, what a merry crew!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ye round, for I be havin’ a tale from the landlubbers in Congress, where the scallywags be makin’ laws more tangled than a ship’s riggin’! Just this past Wednesday, them landlocked sea dogs cast their votes to keep the good ship Government afloat, wardin’ off a nasty storm that be threatenin’ to shut her down next week.

In a grand show of camaraderie, the Senate, with a hearty cheer, voted 78 to 18, while the House o’ Representatives, led by their bearded captains, passed it with a resoundin’ 341 to 82! But lo and behold, the scorn of the opposition fell upon them Republicans, who seemed more divided than a treasure map!

Ye see, there was a grand proposal from the infamous Donald Trump, demandin’ all ye landlubbers show proof of citizenship to join the voter crew. But the House’s leaders, shiverin’ in their boots from mutiny within their ranks, decided to toss that idea overboard, lest they face a full-blown pirate uprising! So, with a hearty toast of rum, they sailed forth to keep the government shipshape and Bristol fashion, even if it meant throwin’ Trump’s demands into the briny deep!

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