Arrr! A local matey’s lead halted the Trump shooter’s barrage, ‘fore the Secret Service made ‘im dance with bullets!
2024-09-26
Arrr, matey! On the day of the fourth sun o' the week, Officer Edward Lenz of the Pennsylvania seas be spillin' tales of a Butler County scallywag who fired first at the knave Thomas Crooks, thwartin' his dastardly plot to send the former captain to Davy Jones’ locker!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin the yarn of a ruckus that transpired in the fine land of Pennsylvania! A police officer, by the name of Sgt. Edward Lenz, regaled the lawmakers with tales of a nefarious scallywag named Thomas Crooks, who attempted to put a permanent end to former President Trump’s days above the sod!On that fateful day, the red barn was buzzing with more armed men than a pirate tavern on a Saturday night! But alas! The local lads were not called upon to guard the grounds, leaving the stage as exposed as a sailor’s backside in a storm. A sharp-eyed sniper spotted the dastardly Crooks lurking about, yet the planning had more holes than a cheese wheel!
When the shots rang out, Lenz sprang into action like a shark on a scent, firing at Crooks from afar! But nay, the bullet didn’t find its mark. It was a Secret Service sharpshooter who finally sent Crooks to Davy Jones’ locker, as he fell from his perch, a right mess of a situation. The whole affair left the lawmakers scratching their heads, questioning how such a plot could unfold with a sea of armed men and yet still leave a rogue to sail his ship of chaos! Yarrr!