The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! That scallywag mayor be sayin' Trump’s tales o' migrants be as true as a three-legged parrot!"

2024-09-26

Arrr, in Aurora, where the mayor be a Republican scallywag, he be thinkin’ that Trump be blowin' hot air ‘bout visitin' their mountain cove. “I reckon he won’t show, savvy?” said Mike Coffman, fer we be no battleground and the wind be blowin' in another direction! Ha-ha!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from Aurora, Colorado, where the winds of political folly be blowin' strong! The town's Republican mayor, a scallywag named Mike Coffman, be castin' doubt on whether the former captain of the White House ship, Donald Trump, be settin’ sail to visit their humble abode. Aye, he be thinkin' that ol’ Trump be blowin' hot air, claimin' he won’t drop anchor in a port not deemed a battleground, savvy?

Coffman, with a wink and a nod, be stirrin' the pot of skepticism in an interview, sayin', “I kind of doubt it by now.” It seems the good mayor be not only a Republican but a man of a different stripe in the sea of political brigands, which makes him wonder if Trump’s promises be naught but the siren’s call—luring the unwary to their doom! The tempest of immigration rumbles in the background, and the GOP ship be sailin' into choppy waters. So, will ol' Trump make landfall or just keep chartin' a course elsewhere? Only time will tell, but Coffman be ready to batten down the hatches if the captain decides to hoist his flag in Aurora!

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