The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, says John Elway, "Travis Kelce be the last scallywag the Chiefs should fret over, matey!"

2024-09-27

Arrr, me hearties! Former Denver Broncos captain John Elway be chattin’ with Fox News about young scallywag Travis Kelce’s troubles scorin’ in the field. It be like watchin’ a landlubber tryin' to sail a ship—plenty of effort, but the treasure be hard to find! Ha har!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the famed Travis Kelce, who be havin' a wee bit of a sluggish start to the 2024 NFL season. But fret not, for the legendary John Elway, a quarterback of no small renown, be as cool as the deep blue sea, sayin' the Kansas City Chiefs be in shipshape with three glorious victories in tow!

Though Kelce be searchin' for the end zone like a scallywag huntin' treasure, Elway be thinkin' that the lad's still got plenty of fight left in him. "Aye, they be 3-0!” he declared, with the wisdom of a seasoned captain. He acknowledges that as the years have sailed by, Kelce be 35 or so, and his bones might creak more than a ship in a storm.

Elway, just back from a swashbucklin' adventure on "The Masked Singer," opines that Kelce be the last matey the Chiefs need to worry about. "That lad be a great player," said he, as the crew chuckled. “Come Sunday, he’ll be lookin’ to plunder the end zone against the Los Angeles Chargers!” So hoist the flags high, for the Chiefs be on a roll, and Captain Kelce shall find his rhythm once more! Arrr!

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