"Ye scallywag from Colorado be set ablaze the woods, tryin' to roast his mutt! Aye, what a blunder!"
2024-09-27
Arrr, matey! A scallywag from Colorado be in a fine pickle, face-to-face with the law fer settin' the woods ablaze! He thought he’d give his furry mate a fiery farewell, but now he’s roastin' in a whole heap o' trouble! Fire in the hole, indeed!
On the first day of August in the year 2024, the Bucktail Fire raged like a Kraken unleashed, causin' chaos and burnin' more land than a pirate ship can sail in a fortnight! With over a hundred brave souls fightin' the flames, they linked Garber to the blaze when they found his makeshift funeral spot – a dugout marked with the heartfelt words: "Rocket Dog. Rest in Peace Buddy." The man was caught red-handed, tryin' to roast his pup 'neath a pile of wood, when, lo and behold, a spray can exploded, settin' a nearby tree ablaze!
The law be comin' for him, and he faces two counts o' arson and a count o' second-degree trespassin’. Aye, this be a lesson for all ye landlubbers: when ye plan to bid farewell to yer furry mates, don’t bring the whole forest down with ye! Garber's court date be settin' sail soon – let’s hope he finds a better way to honor his four-legged friend!