The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Tom Brady be lovin' the sight o' Michigan givin' USC a proper thrashin'—new rivalries brewin' in the Big Ten seas!

2024-09-28

Arrr, matey! Tom Brady dreamt of sailin’ to USC’s shores, but fate plopped him in the chilly waters of Michigan! Now, with USC joinin’ the Big Ten crew, he be laughin’ as his old shipmates give the Trojans a hearty thrashin’! Aye, new rivalries be brewin’!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the grand Big Ten Expansion, where four mighty football crews from the sunken Pac-12 have set sail into new waters, igniting rivalries fiercer than a squall! Take heed of the clash betwixt the Wolverines of Michigan and the swashbucklin’ Trojans of USC, a match fit to rattle the very timbers of "The Big House" in Ann Arbor! The Wolverines nabbed victory with a last-minute score, makin’ it 27-24, much to the delight of one Tom Brady, whose heart swells with pride for his alma mater!

Aye, it be a sight to behold, USC and its mates like UCLA and Oregon squarin’ off against other Big Ten stalwarts. But fret not, for soon, it’ll be as common as finding a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! With such storied traditions, these matchups will brew more excitement than a barrel of rum!

Brady, the California lad, dreamed of donning the Trojan colors but found himself in Michigan’s crew instead. Now, he relishes the chance to “stick it” to them Trojans! Meanwhile, he’s joined forces with the Big Ten and Abbott to tackle a dire blood shortage with a grand competition among the 18 schools, where every drop counts. So, hoist a tankard for college football, me hearties, and may the best crew win both on the field and off!

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