Ahoy! DOJ be charg’n Rep. Anna's old foe for threatenin’ to send a rival to Davy Jones’ locker! Arrr!
2024-09-29
Arrr, the Justice Department be spoutin' tales of one William Braddock, a landlubber who fancied himself a candidate! He be threatenin’ to unleash a fearsome band of Russian-Ukrainian scallywags to send his rival to Davy Jones' locker! Blimey, what a jolly way to settle a squabble!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale of political treachery fit fer the high seas! It be a fine day in the land of Florida, where a scallywag named William Robert Braddock III, aged 41, found himself in a right pickle! The Justice Department, those stern sea dogs, be charg'n him with threatenin' to unleash a fearsome "Russian-Ukrainian hit squad" on his primary opponent, Rep. Anna Paulina Luna, R-Fla.On a fateful June day in 2021, Braddock be makin' some wicked remarks, claimin' he’d call upon his nefarious crew to make Luna disappear faster than a ship in a storm! After droppin' anchor in the Philippines, he was summoned back to the States, where he now faces the gallows—er, I mean, court. With his threats recorded like a buccaneer's song, this scallywag be in hotter water than a lobster at a cookout!
Luna, a fierce lass and Air Force veteran, be claimin’ Braddock stalked her, leadin' to a court order to keep him at bay. With tales of hit squads and dastardly plots, it’s clear this be no ordinary election tale, but a riotous romp through the rough seas of politics! So, hold fast, me hearties, as justice sails forth to meet this rogue! Arrr!