The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The New York Times be settin' sail fer Kamala without a word from her lips, callin' Trump a scallywag unfit!

2024-09-30

Arrr, matey! The New York Times crew be shoutin’ for Vice President Kamala Harris as the “only true patriot,” while callin’ ol' Captain Trump unworthy of a captain’s hat! With but 30 days ‘til the great election duel, the sea be choppy for the White House spoils! Yarrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the landlubber’s press, the New York Times! The editorial crew, a hoity-toity lot of opinionated swabs, have set their sails to endorse none other than Vice President Kamala Harris fer the grand captaincy o' the ship known as the presidency! They be callin' her the 'only patriotic choice,' as if she be the last bottle o' rum on a deserted isle!

Arrr, and what’s this? They be throwin' shade like a stormy sea at former President Donald Trump, claimin' he be 'unfit for any office.' A bold claim, indeed, from a crew who likely knows their way around a quill and parchment better than the high seas! With the fateful election just over thirty days away, the race be tighter than a ship's riggin' on a windy day!

The board, filled with scribblers and opinionated landlubbers, sang the praises of Harris as a 'dedicated public servant' who be showin' care and competence, like a fine captain keepin' his crew well-fed and the ship afloat! So, hoist the colors, mateys! It be a wild ride to the finish line, and only time will tell who'll claim the treasure of the presidency!

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