The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the New York Times be sayin’ Harris be the only true sea dog fer the captain's chair! Har har!

2024-09-30

Avast, mateys! The New York Times crew be throwin’ their lot with Vice President Harris to sail into the presidency this fall, settin’ their sights on the scurvy dog Trump! They say he’s as unfit as a landlubber for the captain's chair, all self-interest and no honor! Arrr!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the realm of ink and parchment! The fine scribes at the New York Times, those lords of letters, have cast their lot with Vice President Harris for the grand contest of the autumn season, settin' sail against that scallywag, former President Trump!

In a recent scroll published on the first day of the week, the Times declared, “Tis a right challenge to find a knave more unworthy to don the crown of the presidency than that Trump fellow!” Aye, they be sayin’ he’s shown himself to be as morally fit as a barnacle-covered shipwreck, unworthy of a post that demands a captain to steer the ship of state with the nation’s good in mind, not just his own greedy desires!

The esteemed board of editors be raisin' their voices against this former captain of chaos, declarin' he’s made a fine art of puttin' his own self-interest above the needs of the crew. So, hoist the sails for Harris and prepare fer a raucous debate! The seas be treacherous, but the Times be certain—this battle be a matter of integrity, and they be settin’ their compass true!

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