The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, 'tis said near half o' the young scallywags wish TikTok be sent to Davy Jones' locker!

2024-10-01

Arrr, matey! A goodly half o' the Gen Z scallywags be wishin' TikTok was naught but a mirage o' the sea! Jonathan Haidt, a clever landlubber, be layin' down the law: no shiny gadgets before high school, keep the seas o' social media clear till 16, and let 'em play like true pirates!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round and lend yer ear to this tale of the young scallywags known as Gen Z. A mighty survey from FORTUNE reveals that near 'nuff half these landlubbers wish TikTok had never set sail upon the digital seas! Aye, they be lamentin' the creation of this cursed contraption.

In the ink of a New York Times opinion piece, the learned Jonathan Haidt, author o’ the controversial tome "The Anxious Generation," be spillin' the beans on four rules fer the wee ones and their infernal smartphones. First, he says, no shiny devices before high school, lest they be turned into blubberin' sea otters! Second, no social media till they be 16, ye hear? Third, he proclaims no phones in schools, or ye'll have the young'uns settin' sail on distraction instead of learnin'. And lastly, let ‘em run wild and free in the great outdoors, where the only screens be the ones on their windows!

Haidt shares a grim tale of Gen Z, revealin' that a staggering 60% of these youngsters be spendin' four hours a day fiddlin' with their gadgets. Blimey! No wonder they be yearnin' fer days of yore when playin' outside was the only adventure they needed! So hoist the anchor and let the winds o’ change blow these young pirates back to livin’ like the freebooters they were meant to be!

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