The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Scallywag claims innocence after tryin' to send Trump to Davy Jones' locker! What a jolly jest!

2024-10-01

Arrr, matey! In the fair land o’ West Palm Beach, a scallywag named Ryan Routh be plead’n not guilty to tryin’ to put a cap’n in Trump’s crow’s nest! With a rifle and all, he be awaitin’ his fate behind bars. A fine mess that be, fer sure!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the sunny shores of West Palm Beach, where a scallywag named Ryan Routh, aged 58, be findin' himself in a right pickle! This knave, with a rifle in hand, thought it wise to take aim at the grand captain, Donald Trump, whilst he be swingin' clubs on the green. Arrr, the folly of it!

On the fateful day of September the 15th, our lad Routh be caught red-handed, and now he be standin' before the court, plead'n not guilty to five charges as thick as a ship's hull. Charges that be includin' the dastardly crime of attemptin' to send a mighty presidential candidate to Davy Jones' locker! What a clumsy buccaneer!

As the judge be lookin' down upon him with a glare sharper than a cutlass, Routh be sentenced to languish in jail, awaitin' a trial that be sure to be more excitin' than a treasure hunt. So, me hearties, let this be a lesson to ye: if ye be thinkin’ of takin’ a shot at the high seas of politics, best to keep yer rifle in the hold and yer wits about ye! Arrr!

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