The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, California be tossin' legacy admissions overboard at them fancy colleges—no more treasure maps for the spawn of scallywags!

2024-10-01

Arrr, matey! The fair state o' California hath cast aside the wicked practice o' lettin' scallywags in 'cause their kin be rich or have trod the hallowed halls! Now, all hands will be judged on their own merit, not the gold coins in their family’s treasure chest! Ha-ha!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round an’ lend yer ears, fer a tale o' California’s academia that be shakin’ the very timbers of tradition! Governor Gavin Newsom be raisin' the Jolly Roger o' justice, sign'n a law that cuts the ropes on those scallywags known as legacy admissions. Aye, no longer can ye waltz through the hallowed gates o' knowledge simply 'cause yer old sea dog of a parent tossed a few doubloons or swaggered about on campus long ago.

This new decree be makin’ it clear that every matey, regardless of their lineage, will be judged not by the gold in their parents’ treasure chests, but by the worth o' their own swashbucklin’ merits. So, if ye be a young buccaneer hopin' to join the ranks of higher learnin’, ye best be sharpenin’ yer skills and polishin’ yer wits, for the winds of fortune no longer favor the well-connected!

But fear not, ye landlubbers, fer schools can still hoist the sails and welcome in those with family ties or past riches, just no more favoritism! So raise yer tankards to this fine change, and let it be known—merit is the true treasure in these here waters o’ education!

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