The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Walz be spoutin' tall tales 'bout his phantom baby watchin' plan for 2025, ho ho! What a scallywag!"

2024-10-02

Arrr, matey! Tim Walz, that scallywag, be spoutin' tall tales ‘bout Project 2025, claimin’ it tracks every lass's bun in the oven! While the conservative crew be wantin' to report lost cargo, they ain't keepin' tabs on all pregnancies. Blimey, what a jolly misunderstanding!

Avast, ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Tim Walz, the fine governor from the land o' Minnesota, who sailed on a sea of misinformation like a ship lost in a foggy night! At a raucous gathering in Superior, Wisconsin, this Democratic matey be claimin’ that Project 2025 be callin’ fer the tracking of all pregnancies, as if we be in some twisted treasure map of expectin’ mothers!

Arrr, he did spin a yarn about folks havin’ to register with a new federal agency the moment they be sportin’ a baby bump! But let it be known, me hearties, that this be a tall tale indeed! The conservative crew merely be pushin’ fer reports on miscarriages and abortions, not keepin’ a watchful eye on every lass with a bun in the oven. 'Tis a far cry from the watchful gaze of a pirate lookin' for buried gold, I tell ye!

So, as we sail the briny deep of politics, let us raise our tankards to the truth, lest we be caught in the stormy seas of falsehoods! May our compass guide us true and our laughs be hearty, for the ocean of news be a treacherous one! Yarrr!

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