Arrr, Greg Oden, the top pick o' 2007, be sayin’, “I be hatin’ life, seein’ them treasure chests!”
2024-10-02
Arrr, matey! Greg Oden, the once mighty No. 1 treasure of the NBA, be spillin’ the beans on them contracts! Aye, he be the biggest folly in memory, frustratin' enough to make a parrot squawk! Set sail on the seas of disappointment, he be!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Greg Oden, a grand shipwreck of a basketball career! In the year of our Lord 2007, the Portland Trail Blazers, in their folly, plundered the draft for this towering lad straight outta Ohio State, thinkin’ he be the treasure that’d lead 'em to glory. Aye, they passed on the likes of Kevin Durant—what a blunder, that be!But alas, fate be crueler than a stormy sea! Oden befallin’ injuries quicker than a pirate can down a mug of rum. His first season? Aye, naught but a ghost on the bench! Then in his second, he be tallyin’ a measly nine points and seven rebounds. After a long spell ashore from 2010 to 2013, he returned for a brief stint with the Miami Heat, playin’ only 23 games—a real calamity!
Years later, in a tavern of sorts called "The OGs" podcast, he lamented the riches others amassed whilst he scraped by with a mere $24 million. Hear this, ye scallywags! Oden be jestin’ that he nearly lost his wits seein' less deserving mates bagging treasure like Timofey Mozgov's $50 million bounty. He warns young sailors to guard their gold and know where it be flowin’! Yarrr!