Arrr! Roger Goodell be ponderin’ a jiggle to NFL’s kickoff rules, after Trump gave him a right ol’ tongue-lashin’!
2024-10-02
Arrr, ye scallywags! NFL's Captain Goodell be ponderin' some jolly ol' changes to the kickoff shenanigans, just weeks into the grand 2024 voyage! Aye, 'tis the maiden year o' these new-fangled rules—let’s hope they don’t sink like a ship full o’ rum!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer the tale of the NFL's newfangled kickoff, launched 'fore the 2024 season, borrowin' a page from the XFL’s seafarin’ scrolls! But alas, it seems the grand plan be sinkin' faster than a ship with a hole in her hull, with only 29.1% of kickoffs bein' returned this season – a meager rise from the previous year’s numbers, like tryin' to hoist the anchor with a single hand!Even former Captain of Controversy, old Trump himself, weighed in on this kerfuffle! In a chat with the scallywag Clay Travis, he bellowed, “What in Davy Jones' locker are they doin’ with the kickoff return? It looks like a shipwreck!” He lamented the NFL’s course, wishing it to sail back to the ways of college football, arguin’ that danger be part and parcel of the game, like a cannonball in a barroom brawl.
Then, the mighty Roger Goodell, the commissioner of this grand spectacle, hinted at changin’ the rules again! He suggests movin' touchbacks up five yards, hopin' it might coax the players into returnin’ the ball like good ol’ days. A meetin’ of the competition committee be on the horizon, so hold onto yer hats, for the winds of change be blowin' fiercely 'cross the gridiron seas!