The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Julian Assange be confessin' to the art o' journalism t' escape the brig, savvy? What a scallywag!

2024-10-02

Arrr, matey! After five long years rotting in the brig, Julian Assange be speaking! He claims he be freed fer ‘pleadin' guilty to the fine art of journalism.’ Aye, what a treasure that be! Aye, turns out writein' be a crime on the high seas o’ information!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Julian Assange, the scallywag of WikiLeaks, who claimed he be free after a lengthy stint in the brig, all for "pleadin' guilty to journalism!" Aye, ye heard that right!

In his first proper chinwag since breakin' free from the clutches of imprisonment, our mate Assange be spillin' the beans to the Council of Europe, a gathering of lawmakers from 46 lands. With a grin as wide as a ship's sail, he waved to his supporters, shoutin' that “the world be with ye!" But lo, he be not free thanks to the kind workings of the system, nay! He be free for confessin' to the noble art of seekin' the truth from the hidden depths of the seas!

After years in a dank cell, he’s now addressin' those fancy parliamentarians, reflectin' on his isolation as if it were a treacherous storm at sea. “It strips away one’s sense of self,” he declares, though he be a bit wobbly in his speech. Accused of threatenin' national secrets and lives, he still be hailed as a hero by some who cheer for press freedom.

In the end, the tale wraps up with our mate Assange sailin' back to Australia, free but weary, ready to mend his sails before settin' out on new adventures. Arrr!

Read the Original Article