The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Mayorkas be sayin’ FEMA gold be dryin' up faster than rum on a thirsty pirate's ship!

2024-10-03

Arrr, mateys! The scallywag Secretary Mayorkas be spillin’ the beans—FEMA’s treasure chest be runnin’ dry this hurricane season! Aye, they’ve plundered over $640 million for landlubber shelters fer them non-citizen swabs. Hurricane Helene be comin’, and we be left with naught but a leaky boat!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye news from the high seas of politics! Captain Biden and his trusty first mate, Harris, be steerin’ the good ship DHS, but it seems they be sailin’ into troubled waters! The scallywag Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, that salty sea dog, be spillin’ the beans that the treasure chest for FEMA be runnin’ dry 'fore the fierce squalls of this year’s hurricane season. Arrr!

Now, I reckon ye might be wonderin’ how it came to this sorry state o’ affairs? Well, in a fit o' mischief, the DHS decided to plunder over $640 million from the coffers meant for disaster relief, divertin' it to set up shelters for the so-called “non-citizen migrants.” Aye, that be the new-fangled term fer illegal landlubbers, savvy? This here misadventure took place back in April of 2024, ‘fore the tempest named Hurricane Helene unleashed its fury upon the Southeast.

So, as the winds howl and the waves crash, one has to wonder: will the good folk be left high and dry whilst the pirates of policy scuttle off with the booty? Stay tuned, ye scurvy knaves, for this tale be far from over!

Read the Original Article