Ahoy! Nature's matey be in a pickle, brawlin' with landlubbers whilst tryin' to snatch a wee seagull! Arrr!
2024-10-04
Arrr! A lass from Belfast found herself in the courts on Tuesday, claimin' she was merely tryin' to snatch a wee seagull! But when landlubbers dared to meddle, she turned on 'em like a tempest! Aye, the waves of mischief be high in these parts!
Arrr, gather 'round ye scallywags, fer I’ve a tale from the port o' Belfast! A lass by the name o' Angela Wildman, aged 58, found herself in the clutches o' the law after she went on a rampage against brave souls tryin' to rescue a wee baby seagull she had stowed away in her sports bag. On the fateful day o’ August 14, she wielded a long-handled mop and a milk carton like they be cutlasses, fendin' off those who dared to free the feathery matey!In court, the lass denied all charges—common assault, brandishin' an offensive weapon, and bein' a general nuisance. Her counsel, a savvy sea dog named Damien Trainor, claimed she be as sane as a ship’s captain on a clear day! Yet, the local constables told a different tale, recountin' how she swung her mop and milk carton like a pirate on the high seas during the glorious rescue attempt!
When the law finally caught up with her, Wildman was as feisty as a stormy night, resistin' capture with all her might! Though the court be cautious, they granted her bail, perhaps thinkin' she’d learned a thing or two about treatin’ her feathered friends. So, let this be a lesson, mateys: if ye capture a seagull, be prepared to face the wrath of the good-hearted crew tryin' to save it!