The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! FEMA be counterin' claims o' gold squandered on landlubber migrants, sayin' 'twas but a splash in the ocean!"

2024-10-04

Arrr, the scallywags at FEMA be settin’ sail against the tall tales that doubloons for landlubber migrants be better spent mendin’ the seas after Hurricane Helene! Cap’n Abbott and young Trump be all a-fluster over $640 million for them swabs, but FEMA be sayin’ it’s all fair winds!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the Federal Emergency Management Agency, known to the landlubbers as FEMA! A storm named Hurricane Helene done wreaked havoc, and now the scallywags be complainin' that the doubloons set aside for helpin' illegal migrants ought to be plundered for disaster relief instead!

This week, a band of ruffians, led by the likes of Texas Governor Greg Abbott and that Trump Jr. lad, did raise their voices 'gainst a mighty sum o' $640 million, claimed to aid the poor souls seekin’ refuge. They be hollerin' that the treasure should be used to mend the wreckage left by Helene rather than helpin' wayward souls crossin' the seas!

But fear not, fer Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas of Homeland Security be standin’ firm, sayin’ FEMA be fulfillin’ its duty to all! Aye, it seems there be a ruckus ‘twixt the buccaneers o' politics, and the waves of discontent be crashin’ ‘gainst the shores of common sense!

So, grab yer tankards and raise a toast to the tangled web o’ funds and claims! For in this wild sea o’ bureaucracy, there be treasures misallocated and disputes mayhap never to find resolution!

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