Arrr, a new scroll says antisemitic mischief be up nearly 200% since that cursed October 7th massacre! Blimey!
2024-10-06
Arrr, matey! It be said that since the seventh day of October, the Anti-Defamation League has counted nigh 10,000 scallywag antics against the fine Jewish folk—‘tis the greatest ruckus o’ mischief they’ve seen since their charts began in the year of our Lord, 1979! Avast, what a hullabaloo!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a woeful tale from the seas of the Anti-Defamation League! A recent scroll reveals that since the fateful day of Oct. 7, when the scallywags of Hamas unleashed their terror, the number of antisemitic incidents in the U.S. has skyrocketed by a whopping 200%! Aye, it be the most treacherous year since the ADL began their counting back in the year of our Lord, 1979. Over 10,000 such incidents have been logged, a grim tally indeed!Jonathan Greenblatt, the captain of the ADL ship, declared with a heavy heart that since that dark day, Jewish Americans be sufferin' under a relentless barrage of threats and call for violence. With over 8,000 verbal jabs, 1,840 acts of vandalism, and 150 physical assaults, it seems the seas be rife with trouble!
Not just in the U.S., but across the oceans in Europe and Canada, the tides of antisemitism be rising. In the Great White North, they've reported a 132% increase in hate crimes—'tis a treacherous time to don the yarmulke! So hoist yer sails and let us pray for calmer waters ahead, for the seas of hatred be nothing to take lightly, savvy?