"Arrr matey! A Texas Ranger threw caution to the wind, skedaddlin' from a ruckus after drownin' his sorrows!"
2024-10-07
Arrr, matey! Ye olde Texas Ranger hurler, Matt Bush, be caught swiggin' too much grog! He was sailin’ his ship o' a whip all wonky-like, then went crashin’ into the briny deep. Now he’s got a jolly ol’ charge of DWI hangin’ over him! Avast, what a scallywag!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of the notorious former Texas Rangers pitcher, Matt Bush, who be caught in a right pickle o' trouble! Aye, on a fateful Friday night, this scallywag was sailin’ his Lincoln Aviator like a drunken sailor on shore leave, catchin’ the eye of the Arlington constables.But lo and behold! Instead of heedin’ the law, our dear Matt decided to make a swift escape, only to crash into a mighty Chevy Silverado, like a cannonball from a ship! He plowed through not just one, but two other vessels at a red light, givin’ new meaning to the term ‘carpool’!
Witnesses, sharp as cutlasses, caught our lad attemptin’ to make a break for it, but they seized him before he could say “shiver me timbers!” Both he and the Silverado captain were whisked away to the healer’s quarters with naught but minor scratches and bruises.
The landlubbers o’ law suspected our rogue was three sheets to the wind, and when he refused to take the sobriety test, they had to get a warrant faster than a ship can hoist its sails! With a history of misadventures, ol' Bush faces charges aplenty, and his bail be set at a whopping $35,000! Arrr, what a tale of woe for this wayward sea dog!