The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Manny be callin' Jack Flaherty a scallywag for hittin' his matey on purpose, savvy?

2024-10-07

Avast ye! The famed Manny Machado o’ the Padres be callin’ out that scallywag Jack Flaherty o’ the Dodgers, claimin’ he struck young Tatis Jr. with a pitch as if he were aim’n fer a parrot’s beak! Arrr, the seas be turbulent in this here baseball battle!

Arrr, gather ye round, me hearties! A ruckus erupted on the diamond 'twixt the San Diego Padres and the Los Angeles Dodgers, as a scallywag named Manny Machado set his sights on the pitcher Jack Flaherty, claimin' he had a mind to plunk the Padres’ prized parrot, Fernando Tatis Jr. during their latest fray! The raucous crowd at Dodger Stadium turned rowdy, lobbin’ all manner of projectiles—baseballs and beer cans flew faster than a cannonball in a sea battle!

The tension boiled over like a pot of grog, with Machado and Flaherty squawkin' at each other like two crows in a stormy sky. Our fearless captain Tatis, who had earlier sent a home run sailing like a ship on the high seas, felt that Flaherty's pitch was a deliberate shot across the bow. Tatis proclaimed that such shenanigans were ill-suited in a series of such import!

Flaherty, on the other hand, denied any foul play, claimin’ he merely miscalculated his throw. But when Machado struck out Flaherty, the heat turned up, and the two squabbled like sworn enemies at a tavern! With the score tied and the tension thicker than fog on the ocean, ye can bet the next game will be filled with even more tomfoolery and jests! So hoist the sails, me mateys, for this pirate tale be far from over!

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