The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Putin's scallywag, the 'Merchant of Death,' be peddlin' cannons once more after the Yanks let 'im loose!

2024-10-07

Arrr, me hearties! Infamous scallywag Viktor Bout be plundering once more, mere moons after his freedom swap for a lass of the WNBA! Yonder Houthis be parleyin' in Moscow, chasin' a 10 million doubloon deal, only to find the "Merchant of Death" awaitin'! Avast, what a jolly rogue!

Arrr, gather ‘round me hearties, for I’ve got a tale that’ll make ye guffaw! That scallywag Viktor Bout, famed dealer of dread, hath returned to the treacherous seas of arms trade! Less than two moons after bein' swapped for the lady of the court, WNBA star Brittney Griner, this rascal be up to his old mischief once more!

The Wall Street Journal, a worthy parrot of news, be squawkin’ that back in August, some crafty emissaries from Yemen's Houthi crew sailed to Moscow, seekin’ to strike a deal worth ten million doubloons for weapons of war. And who should they cross paths with but the infamous "Merchant of Death" himself, Viktor Bout! What a ruckus it must’ve been, two factions of mischief makin’ a pact over barrels o’ gold!

This ol' buccaneer, once a spy for the Soviets, seems to have dusted off his buccaneering boots and is back in the game. Aye, it appears the call of the black market be too sweet to resist for our dear Viktor! So hoist the sails and keep a weathered eye, me mateys, for this tale be far from over! Arrr!

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