The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Miami’s lass Hanna Cavinder be takin’ aim at a scallywag troll after Carson Beck’s cheeky jibe!

2024-10-07

Arrr, on the Sunday tide, fair Hanna Cavinder be takin' aim at a scallywag troll while aboard a flying ship, bound for Georgia to spy her heartie, Carson Beck. Aye, she be not lettin’ no landlubber's jibe sink her spirit!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of fair Hanna Cavinder, a star lass of the Miami Hurricanes, who be shippin’ her heart to the dashing Carson Beck, a quarterback vyin’ for the Heisman Trophy! On a fine Sunday, while settin' sail on a private jet to Athens, where the Bulldogs be clashing with Auburn, she found herself dodgin’ jabs from a scallywag troll on the TikTok seas.

The landlubber had the gall to claim Carson’s riches paved the way for her flight. But lo and behold! Hanna, with a sharp tongue and wit sharper than a cutlass, fired back, “I reckon it’s bonkers for a lass to have her own treasure!” And verily, she watched her beau lead the Bulldogs to victory with a fine performance, tossin' touchdown passes like cannonballs!

Now, beware! For Hanna be not without her own treasure, valued at a whopping $863,000 from the NIL booty! As she sails through the treacherous waters of social media, she ain't shy about defendin' her man against the mean-spirited crew who dare mock his looks. So, hoist the sails, for the seas of college sports be ever bouncin' with drama and derring-do!

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