The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Alabama star be givin' Vandy's lad a faceplant in the dirt, then shoutin' sorry like a scallywag!

2024-10-07

Arrr! On the fateful night, Malachi Moore o' the Crimson Tide be seen shovin' his foe's mug deep into Davy Jones' locker! Come Monday mornin', he be settin' sail on the seas of apology. Aye, 'tis a rough tide, but he be a jolly good lad at heart!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of one Malachi Moore, a swashbucklin’ lad o' the Alabama Crimson Tide, who let his temper fly like a cannonball after a fierce battle against them Commodores o' Vanderbilt. Aye, the Tide sunk, 40 to 35, an’ Malachi, in his fury, did shove the enemy captain Diego Pavia’s noggin into the ground, then booted the pigskin like it owed him doubloons!

This folly earned him a right proper unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, much to the chagrin of his crew. After being tossed about on the turbulent seas of social media, Malachi took to the mast and offered an apology, claimin’ he had let his emotions be the captain of his ship, rather than holdin’ true to the noble standards of his team.

As a two-time captain, he vowed to mend his ways and uphold the honor of the Crimson Tide, swearin’ to conduct himself like a true buccaneer of the gridiron in the future. His captain, Kalen DeBoer, assured all that the matter was handled as swif’ly as a ship in full sail, and praised Malachi for takin’ ownership of his misdeed. Aye, let it be a lesson to all ye scallywags: keep yer emotions in check or ye might find yerself walkin' the plank! Arrr!

Read the Original Article