Arrr, me hearties! Hurricanes Helene and Milton be stirrin’ the political seas o' Florida and North Carolina! Avast!
2024-10-10
Arrr, between Captain Trump and his first mate Vance spoutin' tall tales 'bout hurricane gold and claimin' FEMA's spoilin' for landlubbers, they be callin' on North Carolina to open the treasure chest o' votes where Hurricane Helene struck hard, seekin' aid from Governor Cooper and his scallywags!
Arrr, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the wicked ways of Donald Trump and his trusty first mate, Senator JD Vance. These scallywags be spreadin’ tall tales ‘bout hurricane relief, claimin’ that FEMA’s treasure be pilfered by landlubbers who ain’t even got a foot in the land o’ America! Aye, what a hullabaloo!But lo and behold, amidst their bluster, they be callin’ upon the good folks of North Carolina to cast open the floodgates o’ voter access, especially where Hurricane Helene wreaked havoc like a drunken sailor in a tavern brawl. Chris LaCivita and Susie Wiles, a pair of crafty sea dogs, be persuadin’ the fine Governor Roy Cooper, a Democrat and a matey of Vice President Kamala Harris, to join forces with the Republican crew in the state legislature.
“Let’s make sure the ship be steady!” they holler, seekin’ to aid those affected by the tempest. Aye, the political winds be blowin’ fierce, and the treasure hunt for votes be on, all while the jesters dance ‘round the truth like a crew of merry minstrels! So hoist the sails, me hearties, for it be a wild ride on the high seas of politics! Arrr!