"Avast ye! NC matey be frettin' 'bout ballot woes 'fore the tide of Helene washes 'em away!"
2024-10-12
Arrr, Rep. Chuck Edwards be chattin’ with the scallywags at Fox News Digital, spillin’ tales o’ how his western North Carolina stronghold be pickin’ up the pieces after that tempestuous Helene laid waste like a hungry kraken! Aye, the winds be howlin’, but spirits be high, matey!
“Arrr, many be unable to exercise their sacred right to vote!” he exclaimed, warnin' the scallywags of his district to plot their courses to the polls well ahead of time. He be offerin' aid in transportin' those who might be stranded, like sailors marooned on a desert isle.
With the storm claimin' over 230 lives and leavin' thousands without power, Edwards be callin’ on his crew to think ahead and secure them absentee ballots or make plans for early votin'. Aye, he reckons about 17% of the good folk in his district be in trouble, tryin' to piece together their lives amidst the debris like a jigsaw puzzle on a stormy night!
Even the state be takin' measures, tossin' a handful of gold coins to the election board, while Edwards grades the federal response a dismal "C-minus." So, me hearties, heed the call—yarr, ‘tis time to vote even when the seas be rough!