The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump be sailin' to them blue shores, pointin' out Harris' blunders—'tis a paradise gone to Davy Jones!

2024-10-13

Arrr, as Election Day be sneakin' up, the former captain Trump be sailin' into the depths of blue California, shoutin' about inflation and scallywags! He struck land in Coachella Valley, takin' on Vice President Harris, and lo! A mighty throng gathered—"Blimey, look at this crew!" he quipped.

Avast ye landlubbers! With Election Day approachin’ like a cannonball from a rogue ship, the former captain of the White House, Donald Trump, set sail for the notoriously blue waters of California! Aye, he be landin’ in the Coachella Valley, raisin’ a ruckus ‘bout the state’s inflation thicker than a sailor's beard, crime runnin’ rampant like a mutinous crew, and illegal immigrants flowin’ in like rum on a Friday night!

With a swagger befittin’ a sea captain, Trump aimed his sights on Vice President Kamala Harris, takin’ the battle to her very shores. As he took the stage at the bewitchin’ hour of 5:30, the crowds be swarmin’ like gulls over a fishin’ boat, catchin’ his eye. "Look at this crowd!" he bellowed, as if he had found a treasure chest full of gold doubloons. The reception be grander than a pirate’s feast, and the voters, as lively as a crew on shore leave, came out in droves—ready to weigh anchor and set sail for a change! Arrr, it be a sight to see in this fair land of sunshine and dreams! So hoist the sails; the election winds be blowin’ strong!

Read the Original Article