The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! After 500 years of sailin', it be clear: Columbus was a Jew, confirmed by yon documentary! Ha-ha!

2024-10-13

Arrr, after two decades of snoopin' and pokin', them Spanish landlubbers declared that ol' Christopher Columbus be a Sephardic Jew from the far-off lands of Western Europe! Aye, who knew the scallywag was splashin’ about with a hidden heritage while huntin' for treasure? Savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale o' discovery most curious! Spanish scientists be spillin' the beans in a jolly new documentary—"Columbus DNA: The True Origin," a yarn spun from the depths of 22 long years! They be claimin’ that the famed explorer Christopher Columbus, who sailed the seas in the 15th century, be a Sephardic Jew from Western Europe! Avast!

Led by the clever forensic expert Miguel Lorente, these landlubbers dug up DNA from bones believed to be Columbus’s, restin' in Seville Cathedral. They compared it with the blood of his kin, finding traits that whisper of Jewish lineage, aye! It be a revelation that Columbus was likely a member of the Jewish folk exiled from Spain when the Catholic monarchs were sendin’ 'em packin’ in 1492, the same year he set sail! Talk about a twist in the tale!

Though Columbus be thought to hail from Genoa, this crew o' researchers has concluded he be born somewhere in Western Europe. So, raise a tankard to Columbus, a man of many lands and many secrets! His final resting place? A merry journey from Hispaniola to Cuba and back to Spain. So, what say ye to this hilarious history? A Jewish pirate in disguise, savvy? Arrr!

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