The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Lions be dancin' like scallywags, Goff flingin' treasure to LaPorta, a 52-yard booty score!

2024-10-13

Arrr! On the Sabbath, the Detroit Lions set fire to the Dallas Cowboys' fortifications, with a cunning flea-flicker trickery from Captain Goff to the swashbucklin' LaPorta in the second quarter! Aye, 'twas a jolly good show, matey!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the tale o' the Detroit Lions and their cunning trickery against the Dallas Cowboys on a fine Sunday. In the second quarter, with time a-tickin’ and the crowd roarin’, the doughty Jared Goff tossed the pigskin to the gallant David Montgomery, who bequeathed it to Amon-Ra St. Brown. This crafty lad scampered ‘round like a scallywag, only to return the ball to Goff, who spied the mighty Sam LaPorta prancin’ down the sideline like a captain on shore leave!

With a flick of his wrist, Goff launched the ball, and LaPorta snatched it from the air, charging into the end zone like a pirate charging into battle, scoring a glorious 52-yard touchdown! The Lions roared ahead with a 17-3 lead, and Montgomery later joined the fray, plundering yet another TD before the half, makin’ it 27-6 at the break.

Goff strutted to the locker room with a fine 178 yards, while Montgomery racked up 58 on the ground. Meanwhile, the Cowboys, bless their hearts, floundered with only 14 rushing yards, and Dak Prescott be throwin’ an interception, like a ship lost at sea! Arrr, it be a jolly good show for the Lions, a true spectacle worthy of a sea shanty!

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