The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Ryan Reynolds be wishin’ Hugh Jackman a jolly birthday, like a fine brew o' Deadpool and Wolverine!

2024-10-14

"Avast, me hearty! I be wishin' we can sail these seas o' merriment 'til we be grey-bearded and dodderin' at the ripe age o' 90! May the rum flow like the tide and the laughter be as wild as a tempest!"

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, fer I’ve a tale to spin 'bout the grand ol' years ahead! Picture this: a crew o’ scallywags, all toothless and wrinkled, sailin' the seven seas in a ship that's seen better days, singin' shanties louder than a thunderstorm, an’ drinkin' grog that be as thick as molasses!

“I hope we get to do this til we’re 90!” cries Old Captain Cranky, his beard as white as the foamy sea. Aye, he be dreamin' big, thinkin’ of the day when our bones be creakin’ like the ship’s hull, yet our spirits still high as a mast! We be plunderin' treasure or perhaps just searchin’ fer our misplaced dentures. But who cares, mateys, as long as we can hoist the sails and chase after the horizon, we’ll be livin’ the pirate life!

Picture us, feeble but fierce, shoutin’ “Arrr!” at the wind, celebratin’ each wrinkled birthday with a barrel o’ rum and tales of our glorious misadventures! Pirates, ye see, never really grow old; we just get more seasoned, like a fine barrel o’ rum! So hoist yer tankards high, me hearties, for as long as the sea be callin', we’ll be livin’ like the merry rogues we are, even at the ripe old age of 90!

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