The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, mates! A wicked shootin' in Israel be marked as a right terror spree! Avast, what a ruckus!

2024-10-15

Arrr, me hearties! A foul scallywag let loose his cannons near the highway in Ashdod, claimin’ the life of a brave copper and givin’ four others a right nasty scratchin’. Seems the sea of trouble be risin’! Avast, what a rogue!

Ahoy mateys! Gather ye round and lend an ear to me tale from the seas of Ashdod, Israel, where a scallywag of an attacker opened fire upon a brave constable and innocent souls, causing chaos on a Tuesday most foul! One poor sailor met Davy Jones, whilst four others be nursing their wounds, some more grievous than the hangover of a sailor after a night o’ grog!

The dastardly rogue aimed his cannons at the constable, who sadly succumbed to his injuries as he was whisked away to the land o’ healing. But fear not! An armed civilian did send that knave to his watery grave! The valiant EMTs rushed to the scene, performing the noble art of CPR on a 30-year-old lad near death’s door.

In the midst of this ruckus, news broke of another attack, claiming the lives of four proud IDF soldiers, their fates sealed by a drone strike from the treacherous Hezbollah crew. Even as the good folk of Israel were marking Yom Kippur, the skies were darkened by yet another strike that left nary a scratch on the surface, but fear not, for Uncle Sam is sending more cannons to bolster the defenses!

So keep a weather eye, me hearties, for the seas be tumultuous, and we may yet see more battles ahead!

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