The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Rape Crisis Scotland be still scratchin' their noggins over what a "woman" be! Blimey, what a pickle!

2024-10-16

Avast, me hearties! Spare a thought fer Sandy Brindley, captain of Rape Crisis Scotland! Since last October, she’s been tangled in the stormy seas o’ defining “woman.” A tribunal be sayin’ to set sail with a clear definition, but blimey! Even I know the scallywag who attacked me weren’t no lass!

Arrr, me hearties! Pity the fair Sandy Brindley, the grand captain of Rape Crisis Scotland, who be caught in a tempest o' confusion! Since the last leaves fell in October, she’s been battlin' with the stormy seas of defin’ “woman” – a troublesome task indeed for those who aid the brave souls scarred by the scourge of sexual violence. Aye, ye’d think it be a simple matter, but nay, a judge with the wisdom of a thousand sea voyages has commanded that a clear definition be set sail across all their ports o' support.

Now, ye might wonder why this be a matter of such treacherous waters. Well, me matey, take it from a scallywag like meself—when I think of the ruffian who accosted me on the high seas, I can assure ye they weren’t sportin’ a dress or any finery that befit a lady! It be as clear as a treasure map, I say! Yet here be poor Sandy, tangled in a debate as twisted as an octopus in a net, tryin' to figure out how to keep her ship afloat whilst satisfyin' all the crew’s demands. Har har har! Mayhaps she needs a parrot or two for counsel!

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